An Exercise of Facing Fears
A student from my school posted a threat online that they would shoot up our school last Tuesday. I learned about it on Monday. The following 24 hours tested my ability to focus on God, and the students He put in my charge, rather than focusing on the overwhelming fear.
I prayed for strength to go to school the next morning, and for wisdom. A neighbor, who is a retired police detective and Marine, gave really practical advice. What a blessing! But I then sobbed that I would have to prepare my students. I prayed for God’s protection and for the police to find the suspect. I then chose two verses to help me refocus my mind.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable —if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 (emphasis added)
Here, Paul reminds the Philippians that we are able to, and called to, think on things that are “excellent or praiseworthy”. There’s an inherent idea here that our minds will naturally stray from these types of thoughts, so practicing them is imperative.
While this situation definitely doesn’t lean towards those categories, I decided that when I would recall the verse, I would match each embedded adjective with something that embodied each. So, here goes…
True (factual): God loves me. He loves my students.
Noble (moral ideal): God called me to this school. I go under God’s protection.
Right (justified): I’ve taken steps to protect my students. The police are working with their God-given skill sets to help.
Pure (without unnecessary elements): I only know of a threat. I will not focus on concerns I cannot control or may not happen.
Lovely (beautiful): My students are lovely examples of courage and potential.
Admirable (deserving respect): Many of my fellow teachers decided to go to school too; even though it would be a day loaded with anxiety.
This exercise helped me to find peace to face the day. And wow, it was incredible that even in these circumstances, there are thoughts I can train my brain to think to help me push anxiety and fear away.
This second verse is about peace. The school day covers more than 9 hours. I would need to remember to call peace to mind when I felt scared, overwhelmed or angry. I was rolling through those three emotions pretty regularly; scared about the possibility of violence and deathat our school at the hands of one of our students, overwhelmed by what to do if I heard the tell-tale “pop, pop, pop”, and angry that this is the world in which I live - where I have to show my students how to drop their desk like a barricade and load their bookbags with books to slow the proress of a bullet. I turned to another letter by Paul.
"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.” 2 Thessalonians 3:16
In the end, no shooting happened Tuesday. Unfortunately, they didn’t identify a suspect. I was scared many times Tuesday. But the truth is that I know that a school shooting could happen on any day. I work in a city plagued by daily violence. We experience at least one real lockdown a year. In the past 8 years, two of my students have been victims of gun violence on their way to school. Those two students survived, and over 2500 make the daily trek to our school regardless of that atmosphere.
That we make it through more days safely than not is a testament to God’s love for us and His faithfulness. Regardless of the potential or realization of horrific circumstances, God is in control. Therefore, the peace of God is the ONLY defense or tool that is effective in facing potential daily danger. Find verses to help you face the trials ahead of you; train your brain to focus on God, especially when it seems impossible.
