My Plea For Restoration
Have you ever made a mistake and felt stuck in feelings of guilt, shame and regret? I have and actually struggle with this often. In fact, right now I am grieving a mistake I unintentionally made that not only hurt someone very close to me, but also served as a catalyst of pain in their life. All of this happened because I wasn’t careful with my words. The regret I feel is unbearable at times, especially when I realize things may never be the same for them. When I get this way, it can be hard for me to move forward. I struggle with thoughts and feelings of being unworthy and undeserving of God’s love, grace and mercy. So what do I do to overcome these feelings and get unstuck? Well, I lean on Psalm 51.
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to Your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight” Psalm 51: 1-4 (ESV)
This is David’s plea for restoration. After an abuse of power that led to sexual immorality, murder and the death of an innocent child (see 2 Samuel 11- 12:25), David knew what he did was sin and evil in the sight of God. (v.4) Yet in spite of what he did, those actions did not define who he was. David is described to be a man after God’s own heart (see 1 Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22). How is this possible? Because of the perfect character of God. He is ‘merciful’ or as other translations state ‘gracious’ according to His “steadfast love’’! (v.1) When we are unfaithful, He is always faithful to us. His love is the motive behind His gift of grace (Ephesians 2:8).
This is why David confessed and repented of his sin before God. He knew the “sacrifice You desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.” (v.17 NLT). As a result, he was washed clean (v. 7), having his sin and guilt removed (v. 9, 14) and restored to the joy of his salvation (v.12). This is available for us too! 1 John 1:9 assures us that “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (ESV)
While sometimes it takes a lot of work to remind myself of these truths (2 Corinthians 10:5), especially as I walk in the aftermath of the current situation, I fight the emotions that want to deceive me (Jeremiah 17:9) into thinking God’s love, mercy, grace and forgiveness is for everyone else but me (Romans 3:23-25, 5:8). God is who He says He is - for me, for you and anyone else who has made a mistake (Joel 2:13, Psalm 103:8).
While I do not know what will happen with this particular situation, what I do know is in time God will work things out for everyone’s good and His glory. (Romans 8:28) If you can relate, I pray this provides you hope, help and encouragement today.
