Right Next Step
“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” Proverbs 9: 10 NLT
Currently I am a part time intern with a church and have been put into leadership positions I didn’t know I could handle. It has stretched me and grown me a lot but also has challenged me in so many ways as the job required many steps out of my comfort zone.
Recently, at my internship, a lot of people have told me that they see that I could be a team lead and recommended that I apply for a full-time internship with this church. This terrified me – mostly insecurity on my part. The leadership positions I have been a part of so far have all been with someone above me, guiding me on what needs to be done and I just couldn’t fathom me managing that position alone. So many doubts went into my head about me not being fit enough to lead, not being able to communicate that well, and wondering if I could handle that much pressure and responsibility.
The deadline to apply for the full-time internship was approaching fast and I was in full panic mode. I started to pray about it and even met with my mentor about it. When we talked, I basically said I feel kind of pressured into this position and then listed all the reasons why I didn’t want to go any further with my application. I even talked to my mom about it and was like, “This is not something I want to do.” I was terrified of what God was calling me to step into and even though I didn’t feel like this position was what I wanted, my desire to obey God outweighed my fear. My mentor told me to continue to pray about my decision because even though I am feeling like I shouldn’t apply right now, my feelings could change.
Then I had two different one-on-ones with staff members who reminded me that they wouldn’t be pushing me if they didn’t see something in me. These conversations really helped me put into perspective that I need to filter my thoughts. Instead of listening to the enemy telling me I am not good enough, listening to wise counsel helped me hear God; He promises to be there with me and to never leave my side.
Romans 12:2 says “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
This verse reminds me that when I pursue God and let HIm transform me the way He has planned, then I will learn God’s will for me. I realized what scared me most was what my future would look like after a full-time internship. I hadn’t really stopped to think about everything I could gain from this opportunity.
I am so grateful for this difficult decision process which helped me grow in my relationship with God. I feel so much more in tune with Him and look forward to hearing more from Him through His Word and seeking wise counsel.
Remember, Proverbs 9: 10 NLT “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”
Now I still don’t know what the future is going to look like, which is okay because ultimately God is the one who guides me and leads me to where He wants me. I realize that I need to focus on the right next step and leave my future up in God’s hands and to trust that whatever He has in store for me will be enough.
