Uninvited and Unimportant

Like everyone, things that have happened in my past have shaped who I am now. I’m specifically talking about trauma—years of deep-rooted pain that have shaped me in ways I’m still discovering. I’ve always longed for deep friendships. That feeling of love and belonging is something we all crave, isn’t it? We were created for community, in fact God calls us to be in fellowship with one another.

Romans 12:10: "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."

Psalm 133:1: "How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!"

But here’s the challenge… My natural instinct isn’t to reach out and form relationships. I struggle with the urge to pull back from the relationships I do have. This is because growing up, I moved around often; making, then losing friends as quickly as they came. Friendships felt like a revolving door. On top of that, I faced a lot of bullying—I was left out, uninvited, and unimportant.

Now, at the age of 26, I’m finally experiencing those friendships I craved years ago, yet I still struggle to let people in fully because of trauma. Whenever a friend lets me down or hurts my feelings, my first reaction is to run. Running feels like self-preservation, a guarantee that I won’t get hurt again. I see these “red flags” as signs that people will hurt me, and I don’t want to wait around to see what may come next.

But God commands me to love others and to be in fellowship.

John 13:34-35: "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

I won’t lie—many days, this is a battle. I continually fight to keep my walls down and endure the discomfort of being in fellowship with other believers. God’s words aren’t just to be heard but to be obeyed. So, I keep trying. I stay vulnerable, showing up in relationships, even when I feel unimportant and uninvited. I know that God chose me long before I chose Him. And I know that He has invited me to spend eternity with Him.

Until sin is no more, I know I’ll keep experiencing hurt in relationships because we all fall short. But I can stand firm knowing that God, in His wisdom, has called us to be in community. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."