My Experience With Unforgiveness
A thought that overwhelmed me recently was: we do not remember how important forgiveness is to the Lord. (Matthew 18:21-35)
Let’s stop and think about this for a second.
Are you withholding forgiveness from someone?
There was a time in my life when I was harboring unforgiveness in my heart. Honestly, I didn’t even realize it. But, the Lord got my attention through what I love to do most- leading worship.
I had been experiencing this odd hoarseness in my voice- not caused by sickness. I didn’t know what to do. It was hindering my vocal range! This went on for a while and it got me thinking. I started praying “God, is there something in my life that you’re trying to bring my attention to through this physical problem”?
After spending some time in prayer, He revealed to me that I had unforgiveness in my heart. I didn’t know how to forgive that person, because I already tried and failed. The Lord spoke to me truth that I still remember today: I cannot truly forgive apart from the help of the Holy Spirit. My flesh does not have the capacity to forgive- I need God’s help.
In that moment I changed my prayers from trying to forgive in my own strength and praying instead, “God, you know the hurt this person caused me. But, I don’t want to hold this in my heart anymore. I can’t forgive them in my own strength. God, HELP me forgive.” Then I felt His peace cover me as I said one final time, “I forgive them.”
I want to be clear: I didn’t get an apology. But that didn’t matter. The God of the universe who sacrificed His life for mine to offer me freedom and joy- HE forgave me. Of course He could help me forgive someone else!
The very next morning, God restored my voice completely! I was amazed… God had just taught me such a valuable lesson: He deeply desires that we forgive one another. So much so, that He will interrupt our daily lives to get our attention so that we will choose forgiveness.
So, before we come to the Lord to offer our worship, or to pray for our needs, He asks that we first forgive those who have wronged us. (Mark 11:25)
Let’s free ourselves from the burden of unforgiveness. Let’s choose to give others the same grace that we have been given. We cannot allow the enemy any grounds to cause division or to stir up anger. God’s kingdom work is too important!
