For the past six years, I’ve struggled with dips into depression and anxiety in my fight against PTSD. In recent months, I’ve felt stronger, happier and healthier. I wondered what has been the most helpful to turning my thinking around – back towards God?

It was during one of the most recent pretend conversations that I caught myself hashing out, I experienced a sobering realization enter my mind. As soon as I silently said something inside my head, I realized that what I just thought about a particular person and situation, not only sounded selfish, but was actually also unkind. At that moment, I wondered what these words truly were revealing about my heart?

I deserved that promotion! I had done everything asked of me.... Yet, the answer remains “not yet.”....This has been my biggest struggle lately. I haven’t found a way to rejoice while I wait. The scriptures are so encouraging, but putting them into practice is challenging.

I am reborn, made new, so why do I still struggle? Why am I still battling the same issues I faced before? This question has been echoing in my mind all night as I lay here, wrestling with my sinful thoughts.

Almost from the time I could talk, I often got in trouble for what I said. I was very good at saying exactly what I wanted – and if it was mean, and if it was rude, if it’s what I wanted to say, I said it. It was my most effective weapon after being hurt or angered.

Many of us live our lives by this same core principle. We see our purpose potentially through our family relationships or we see it through our careers. However, for those of us who are Christians, we are called to a different way of living.