“Hey, does God ask us to help our enemies when they need help or to just be nice to them?” This was the text message I received one afternoon from one of my children. Their question revealed how their workday was going.

I remember when we got there I prayed, “God, You used Billy Graham in such a powerful way. Few people are used to such a degree. Why were You able to use him so powerfully?” As I was walking through the library, praying, and taking pictures of all of Billy Graham’s quotes on the walls- God answered me clearly.

There was no hope that I could ever fix this perilous situation. What does a person do when the pain of two people you love has come to a place of impossible reconciliation?

I went to work satisfied that I had been faithful to pray for someone God brought to mind. However, her name wouldn’t leave my mind. I had done what I could, right? But it seemed God was inviting me to do more – to tell her I had prayed for her. Wait! What!

People told me she was in a better place.... People told me she was no longer hurting….. But those comments didn’t help me to heal.

With a purse full of pills, she had planned to take her life, but she decided to stop at the first church along her way because she had heard it was a sin to take her life. So, just in case, she decided to give God a chance and to prove if He was real, cared and loved her by stopping her.

“Oof” was what I wrote as a comment to a verse during this morning’s devotional time. I could not come up with a more articulate response. I felt like I had been socked in the stomach by the direction and wisdom in the short sentence.

Perhaps today you feel like a shadow; unseen, unnoticed and undervalued.

At first, I thought, why is God punishing me when I was doing so well and trying so hard? But then I remembered that the tenuous circumstance I had been in had been entirely of my own making.

Like my van, I am often racing around from place to place, filling my proverbial trunk (and seats and floorboards) with tasks and appointments, therefore using up all my time and energy.

Can we really be fully open, honest and transparent with Him?  Is there a limit on how much I can say or the way I need to frame my ugly, heartfelt thoughts and emotions without Him being mad at me?

For me, emotions have always been hard to understand or to deal with. I understand basic emotions like happiness, sadness and anger, but there are times where things can get a bit confusing.

There was a time in my life when I was harboring unforgiveness in my heart. Honestly, I didn’t even realize it. But, the Lord got my attention through what I love to do most…….

I used to think I was a pretty generous person until most recently when two different conversations with two different friends really challenged and humbled me. Now I wonder what’s in my heart?

One of the hardest things I had to do this week was letting go of her cold pale hand. As I drove away all I could do was fight back the emotions and wonder, “Lord, did I do enough to help her?

Several decades later, I still remember it like it was yesterday.... In young, naive enthusiasm I never stopped to consider what the consequences might be if I just ran and jumped into the pool.

There was even a time when the devil got in my head and told me to quit because I just couldn’t do it. During these struggles, I would cry out to God for help, but it felt like He wasn’t there.

For me, following God’s call made sense. But now, fast forward nine months into that decision, and things are appearing to be a little more confusing.

Days later I arrived to discover their account did not fully convey the filthy living conditions…

I decided to make a list of the things that consumed my mind, emotions, time, and energy…