From Knowing About God to Truly Knowing Him

I want to share with you my journey to truly knowing God.

I was raised in the church for as long as I can remember. Vacation Bible School, summer camps, Sunday services—you name it, I was there. I always believed in God. That part was never a question. I believed Jesus died on the cross, I showed up consistently to church, and I was even baptized at the age of 8.

It sounds like everything was in place, right? By all outward standards, I thought I was good. Heaven—reservation for one, please.

What I didn’t take into account was the way I was actually living, because my understanding was that you just needed belief. Belief in God and His Son, and God would forgive the rest.

Amen… yes, to an extent.

“What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” Romans 6:1-2 NIV

I want to pause here because I don’t want to discredit any 8-year-old’s relationship with God—or even my own at that age. I think it’s a beautiful thing and the beginning of what can be a life surrendered to the Lord. But personally, I don’t believe I understood what it truly meant to follow Christ.

Now, you might think, “You were 8, give yourself some grace.” And I do. At 8 years old, my understanding was limited. I knew what sin was. I understood baptism. But what I didn’t understand was this… true faith is more than just belief—it is seen in a life that reflects that belief.

“What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” James‬ ‭2‬:‭14‬, ‭17‬ ‭NIV

As I got older, instead of living for Jesus, I found myself living for myself and being slowly shaped by the world.

I started getting into trouble early on. In middle school, it was cussing, gossiping, and picking fights. By high school and college, it had escalated. I found myself stealing, underage drinking, and falling into impurity, all to fit in. The truth is, I did all of this while still calling myself a Christian—and I fully believed that I was one.

I was sinning like it was my job, with no real desire to turn away.

Some would say I was still saved. I was baptized, I believed in God, so despite living deeply in sin, I was still going to heaven.

To those people, I would lovingly challenge that.

Your doctrine (what you believe), and your life have to align. And for me, they didn’t.

“Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.” 1 Timothy‬ ‭4‬:‭16‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I wanted the benefits of being saved, but I didn’t want to surrender my life.

Everything shifted in April 2024.

Two women asked me if I wanted to study the Bible with them. I said yes—partly because I wanted to make friends, and partly because I was curious about deepening my faith. What I didn’t expect was how much that decision would challenge me.

Those Bible studies exposed things in me I hadn’t wanted to face. They revealed my hypocrisy. They pushed me out of my comfort zone. 

And through that, God started to change me.

As we dug deeper into Scripture, I began to understand that Christianity isn’t just about believing in Jesus—it’s about living for Him. It’s about surrender. It’s about transformation. It’s about a relationship that actually impacts how you live your everyday life.

I realized that while my belief had been real, it had been shallow. I had known about God, but I hadn’t truly been walking with Him.

But in His grace, God didn’t leave me there.

He met me in that realization and pulled me out of the life I had been living. He softened my heart, opened my eyes, and gave me a new desire. To actually follow Him, not just claim Him.

I felt like a completely new person.

That’s why I chose to be baptized again—not out of routine, but out of conviction. It was a decision to fully commit my life to God and to intentionally walk the narrow path that leads to Him.

If you see yourself anywhere in my story—thinking belief alone is enough, or feeling stuck between the world and your faith—I hope this challenges you and encourages you.

There is more.

God isn’t just after your belief—He’s after your heart, your life, your surrender. And when you give that to Him, He truly makes you new.