I went to work satisfied that I had been faithful to pray for someone God brought to mind. However, her name wouldn’t leave my mind. I had done what I could, right? But it seemed God was inviting me to do more – to tell her I had prayed for her. Wait! What!

I can feel my nostrils flare, my pulse pick up, and the running mantra of how something is unfair, or hurtful, or wrong gets loud in my mind. I want to take action…..

People told me she was in a better place.... People told me she was no longer hurting….. But those comments didn’t help me to heal.

At first, I thought, why is God punishing me when I was doing so well and trying so hard? But then I remembered that the tenuous circumstance I had been in had been entirely of my own making.

For me, emotions have always been hard to understand or to deal with. I understand basic emotions like happiness, sadness and anger, but there are times where things can get a bit confusing.

I used to think I was a pretty generous person until most recently when two different conversations with two different friends really challenged and humbled me. Now I wonder what’s in my heart?